Turn the page
tears roll down my face
i hate to cry, can't breathe
lose my place

change hurts
my heart aches
to leave you behind
is more than i can take

no one said it would be easy
i knew it would be hard, make me crazy
tell me one more time why i should keep things the same
i might stay, i might go, i might make take all the blame

Say the very thing
that tears everything apart
Holding back isn't the answer
But doesn't seem so hard

Needs to be said, needs to be done
I'm gonna say it now, have to be the one
Change hurts anyway, any way you say it
Things will be better when, better than today

no one said it would be easy
i knew it would be hard, makes us both crazy
we could stay, we could go, why not keep it the same
i might stay, i might go, i might make take all the blame

i said a prayer before i went off to school
i cried at night, all alone, feeling like a fool
longing for what was, for what was tearing me apart
yearning for the future, not knowing where to start

So many yesterdays, filling my mind
don't know how to wipe the slate
leave the memories behind

I know its not easy
Never knew, it was going to drive me crazy
should i stay or should i go and become who i'm meant to be
stay or go, leave and grow, meet my destiny

Leavings not easy
Livings not easy
Saying goodbye

it nursed my scarred heart
blurred the lines of pain that
crossed my lips and seared my
mind, my brain

no liquid courage;
mine blinded rage within
sublime and filtered light that
cast a shadow still

longing for the state
it took me to...to find it
was the journey i desired
no map, no guide

the first sip
was like a thousand lovers,
the drink, like a kiss
warmth surrounding this
night, this perfect bliss

find me won't you cabernet,
the dance is perfect
until i don't know your name
and the floor falls away
and my world is spinning

dark, afraid, panic-stricken
i am with then without
either way no joy fills the
hollow, only hope is to
let you go.

Shine

Shine away Sun!
Hear the laughter, count the wagging tails, see the smiles,
All because you came out from behind a cloud for a while.

Shine away fiery orb!
Children playing and moms cleaning and dads washing cars,
And all because you showed your face today!

Shine away crazy star!
And the buds will peak and cardinals speak and worms will wriggle and children giggle,
And all you did was shine!

Shine away silly Sun!
That's all you do, sometimes we don't even know why you're laying low...
clouds blowing, rain falling.
Silly lazy sun!

Shine today Sun!
Though tonight who knows, where it is you'll go?
All we see is, that the moon is all aglow,
Funny sunny sun!

Shine again Sun!
We missed you through all the snow, when all we saw was white,
and you closed your eyes at twilight. Its not the same without you sun!

Thank you Sun!
For being just who you are, a big orangy-yellow fiery star!
Coming back just when we need your light!
But now goodnight sweet, sweet sun, goodnight!

listen

How do i find myself in this mess, this test, far less than expected.

Do i rise above the circumstance, to take a chance at a recreation of myself.
Can i become someone i only dream about and remember who i really am.
Will self doubt degenerate the vision God creates for me.
Is it not about living with a sense of truth, negating fear and clinging to the possibility.
What if there is a need that i can see but cannot hear, forever etched inside my soul.
Why do others know their purpose while i chase at shooting stars.
Who has a grand plan anyway, can't it be a simple dream.
Where will i be when i hear His voice, as a prayer singing inside of me.
When Lord will i know if i am even warm or close or in the vicinity.
Am i listening.

words

Words...how they wend and wind their way into your mind

and through your heart taking pause or not at the door of your lips.

With purpose they move with sound beyond to touch with arrows

or curved syllables of silken sentiments.

How I hope for pause, to collect their effect.

Rather than the barrage of stinging barbs and an instant wish for retract.

Swallowed, they were forgiven and only known by two.

Released, they become the world's fodder for conviction.

The ability to wait, to ponder to hold them as unmolded letters, unformed and unfurled. Beautiful words are a delicacy to be cherished.

missing him

the swirly tail that lay so close to his thin, unloved frame

a tiny wheeze, a cough before he had a name.

what it was i do not know, my mom saw him first

she knew i needed one to fill the void, not nursed.

And so we took him home, in a blanket on mom's lap

he took to her gentle loving way and slept between the gaps.

we arrived home that november day and made him a bed

he slept and slept in mom's cozy room near her head.

i named him first, sam, but it never seemed to fit

we ran through others through the days

And sleep he would and still the cough and then

it just came-after all the sleep, twas apparent, Tucker was his name.

Tucker, Tuck, Furball, Furpants an endless list applied

He was our Tuck as luck would come and love was not denied.